In which Finn gets Finnicky

[finncullen]

 I know that everyone is prone to making grammatical or stylistic errors but a couple have started to get my goat.   In fact they got my goat a little while ago and they have since made inroads on the rest of my livestock.

Literally.

Literally does not mean "and I am emotional".

I get this all the time when I watch the television box and it never fails to make me have to restrain myself from seeking out the culprit and remonstrating with them in the small hours.

Literally means that something actually really definitely non-metaphorically exists/happened etc.

When some retarded bubble headed yankee female on a reality show announces "oh my gawwwd, my legs literally turned to jelly" when the camera shot clearly shows that this did not happen then Finn gets irritated.

When some dumbass English journalist says with a straight face "My heart was literally in my mouth" then Finn considers this inexcusable and is so tempted to demonstrate the difference between what he felt THEN and what he would feel if his statement had been accurate.

You and I...

Saying "You and I" is not a polite form of "You and Me."   It's all to do with cases - "I" being the nominative case.    This error crops up in the UK among uneducated folk who seem to assume it is more polite to always say "you and I" (or variants), but I have noticed from US television programmes that it is used a lot by educated and eloquent folk, so I wonder if misuse has passed, by repetition, into standard usage.   A shame if so, since it jars appallingly on the ear.

If you can't be arsed figuring out cases, then the simple way to see which is the right form to use is to remove the other parties from the sentence.

"The deranged assassin fired poisoned darts at Neville and I" would become "The deranged assassin fired poisoned darts at I" - Obviously wrong.

"The deranged assassin fired poisoned darts at Neville and me" would become "The deranged assassin fired poisoned darts at me" - Woohoo, we have a winner.


The counter-example to illustrate correct usage of the Snob's Error:

"My husband and I would like you to stop hurting us now Finn" becomes "I would like you to stop hurting us now Finn" - Correct!

"My husband and me would like you to stop hurting us now Finn" becomes "Me would like you to stop hurting us now Finn" - Alas, the lesson must continue!

I may just open up a school of grammar, work off some of this lingering tension.

Comments

[addiedear.livejournal.com]

I applaud this post. Literally. (No seriously, I just clapped at the screen.)

[my_daroga]

I, too, am appalled by the frequency with which "literally" literally means the opposite. And now I hear it everywhere.

[aylarah-scale.livejournal.com]

I find the 'you and I' thing quite interesting - my parents always told me off for saying things like your second example "The deranged assassin fired poisoned darts at Neville and me", claiming that my English was appauling and that 'you and me' was slang and it should always be 'you and I'. I believed them but ignored them - mum did her degree in English so why should she be wrong? Quite scary that she was :P

And I do have a bad habit of saying 'figuratively' when some of my friends claim to 'literally' have done something.